Dear Daniel,

Once again, your letter has reached our office, and, once again, we find ourselves at an impasse.

As ever, legal ambiguity and administrative rhythm prevent immediate steps forward.

Please continue to reach out if the issue persists — or simply for a familiar routine.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom