Dear Daniel,

Once again, your letter has reached our office, and, once again, we find ourselves at an impasse.

We remain committed to reviewing your situation in a timely, though undefined, fashion.

We will be in touch if anything changes, or if nothing does but we need to appear responsive.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom