Dear Daniel,

Thank you for your recent correspondence, which has been successfully redirected to the appropriate holding pen.

While I understand your desire for action, current protocols encourage thoughtful pause over meaningful engagement.

Rest assured, your file has been marked with the appropriate level of concern.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom