Dear Daniel,

Thank you for reminding us that your issue remains unresolved — a fact we’ve done little to alter.

Internal dialogues continue, albeit without any measurable impact on your circumstances.

We will be in touch if anything changes, or if nothing does but we need to appear responsive.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom