Dear Daniel,

Thank you for reminding us that your issue remains unresolved — a fact we’ve done little to alter.

Internal dialogues continue, albeit without any measurable impact on your circumstances.

Do not hesitate to get in touch, particularly if your expectations remain safely modest.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom