Dear Daniel,

Once again, your letter has reached our office, and, once again, we find ourselves at an impasse.

We remain committed to reviewing your situation in a timely, though undefined, fashion.

We remain available to echo your concerns, if not resolve them.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom