Dear Daniel,

Further to your most recent message, I want to assure you that we are now familiar with the key themes of your case.

That said, due to the unprecedented complexity of your situation — and its tendency to remain unresolved — our engagement remains symbolic.

We value your dedication to civic participation and recommend continuing your efforts, ideally in parallel universes.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom