Dear Daniel,

I appreciate your persistent engagement regarding the matter at 53 Agar Grove. Your case has been reviewed and, in accordance with custom, returned to the review pile.

Due to procedural sensitivities and an ongoing lack of clarity, no immediate resolution is available.

We recommend remaining patient and trust that someone, somewhere, may eventually offer comment.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom