Dear Daniel,

We acknowledge your frustration, and commend your restraint in the face of repeated disappointment.

While no resolution is currently feasible, we continue to explore the appearance of concern.

Do not hesitate to get in touch, particularly if your expectations remain safely modest.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom