Dear Daniel,

Thank you for your latest enquiry. It has been noted, logged, and filed under ongoing issues of ongoing concern.

Our office remains committed to mirroring your level of effort in tone, if not in function.

We look forward to continuing to not resolve this with you.

Yours sincerely,

Rt Hon Keir Starmer MP (Parody)
Member of Parliament for Holborn & St Pancras
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom